Day #292 : If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is THANK YOU, it will be enough.

It's been long since my last post.

Well , today was a great day, and the greatest of all was the prayer meeting starting about 7pm and last about 11pm.

There's a saying : "God, our Creator, has stored within our minds and personalities, great potential strength and ability. Prayer helps us tap and develop these powers."

Nowadays i used to pray only when i get into troubles and i feel like needing something from Him. When i get into a discussion with the adult sabbath school last saturday, we discussed about prayer. From the discussion, i wrote down Ellen G White quotation about prayer. It said that "Prayer is the opening of the heart to God as to a FRIEND. Not that it is necessary in order to make known to God where we are, but in order to enable us to receive Him. Prayer doesn't bring God down to us , but brings us up to Him"

Since then, i was thinking about spending more time to communicate with Him. Yesterday , i attend the prayer meeting and i didn't last well. I was thinking about "this prayer is too long !" bla3 so i ended up chatting with friends. But, something happened when i back into my room. I felt the inner peace and i felt comfortable. I even wake up early in the morning and start reading His words then pray. 

Then, today, i attended the prayer meeting again, and for my surprise, i get myself ready before 7pm. When i pray, i kneel and for my surprise too, i knelled and talked to Him for about 1 hour. Of course my legs hurts but it doesn't matter when my heart hurts more. 

We began the prayer with lot of praise to Him and of course i praise Him for He is full of patience, I sinned a lot, i asked forgiveness, yet He waited for me, called me to come back to Him AGAIN AND AGAIN. Then confession came second. I really have a lot to confess especially the hatred that burns within my heart. The third phase was prayer request. I asked a lot, i know ! After all He is the only one that come to know all my needs. Last but not least, I come with thanksgiving. Here, i have time to reflect what did God do to me. A LOT ! 

The prayer meeting ends today but for sure, it was a good beginning for me , and i am going to keep myself on track with God cause It feels so good to talk to Him !

Albert Einstein said , Life is like riding a bicycle. To maintain your balance, you must keep moving ! 

That's the way. 

Thank God for everything. Thank you so much !

*Testimony : I prayed so God will open any parent's heart to help the Pathfinder in church. And today, I knew God answered my prayer when Tc Kim said she is going to help in Pathfinder. Sooner or later, God answers prayer ! 

XoXo

Day #117 : Where do i begin?

Now, where should i begin?
It was 8 day before my last entry and that 8 day happen too fast and most of them completely eating me and my time. I mean, there's no day i spend without not-doing-anything.

What disturb me the most was my unconscious feeling now. I remember last night when i received mom's message, telling me to go back home tomorrow , and today is the day. He told me that daddy need me to accompany him in the hospital and to go back home. right after i read the message, i stuck below the study table, where i happened to read the message, and didn't move a bit for a few minutes. Later then i text-ed Mr. Kiokie, telling him that i needed time to do my work. The moment after passed quickly. I am not me. I mean, the way i settle the work, the way i look towards my environment, the way i express myself, it wasn't me. I was really doing the work, and i didn't notice anything happening in my surrounding .

Well, i didn't realize that until i finished my work. I suddenly fall on my knees and begin to cry so bad. I mean, it was so bad. I was talking to God and begging him to understand my needs. The words that came to my mind was "God, you said you are near to those who broken heart and you will comfort them when they come to you. Here i am Lord, i came to you and please comfort me." I was repeatedly saying those sentences without knowing the reason(s).

It took me a moment before i realize my 'actual' needs. Last month i was shocked with my grandpa news. There's no sign, there's no news and he suddenly admitted to the hospital on Monday. And on Friday, i got a call to go back home, and it was because my grandpa finally leave us. Well, i was shocked , i mean really shocked that i can't accept the news. All i did was standing up, going to class, and go back home. There in home, i was busying myself, smiling and trying to help the other to be strong. But soon after everyone gone in my sight, i was crying so bad.

And that happened again last night. Soon i realize that i afraid my daddy will leave us. I know i was thinking too much and i shouldn't do this. But i can't hold back my feeling. And i am now feeling the coldness in my hands and the involuntary shudder. I can't concentrate on doing things. All i know is i gotta be strong and i need to never let my guard down.

And, i hope when all of this pass, i can smile, stand up , gain a new strength and honestly say 'I Made It'.

Dear Lord, please listen to our deepest thoughts and please provide us all things we need according to your will. Help us to be strong and help us to understand and accept your will more than anything else. In Jesus Name, Amen.

May everything will be alright. Hakuna Matata !

XoXo

:'(

Dear Lord, help me to be strong and bend to your will. :'(

Dear Lord, you said You are near to the broken heart and You'll comfort those who come to you with tears. So do i come today Father and please comfort me :'(

Dear Lord, help my precious dady to be strong. I still really love and need him.

In Jesus name, Amen!

Tq :'(