.jpg)
Personally, i've been through a lot. 2008 - 2009 isn't easy when i still trapped between a lot of choice. Intentionally i planned to continue to India for Medic but my parents didn't let me do so and i was regretting a lot of things back then. Now that i understand why everything happening, i am much appreciating the chance of being a teacher. Good news is i am so much in love with my career now.
Back then, i was totally blind in music. I mean, i came to IPG with an empty hands, not knowing anything. Thanks to my environment i am now improving compared to who am i 5 years ago.
Another thing is, i was in charge for the Choir and Orchestra team for about 4 years and this thing really build up my inner self. Also, I can't forget my endless duty etc. When i go through the years, i admit, it was tiring enough for me. Surprisingly, i didn't stop. It was an endless job. One thing done, another thing appear. It was like I was doing one thing beside thinking about another thing while looking at another que up undone work. There's a time i cried and felt hopeless plus stressing out but i didn't stop. I can say i didn't give up, so i was able to stand up until now :)
It was good to say about the positive till now, but i've been through a lot of bad things too. However, i won't blame the bad because it help me to stand strong until now. Well, one thing that still stayed fresh in both of my heart and mind was my dad. He was looking forward for my ending but he was sent to rest right before i finish my campus day. I missed him a lot now but i just can't do anything about it. As i mentioned before, this world has been so much tiring for me and i believe he felt it too cause i inherited this spirit from him, i guess. Good thing dad is now sleeping and he won't feel tired anymore. I don't know how long it will be but i'm going to do my best to meet him again someday.
Another thing is love. Honestly i can't resist love. When i come to love someone, i'll stay fixed and thus love will always be the top reason of my heart broke. I decided to love someone when i enter my IPG life and already plan a future with it. But , trust didn't work out with this one. I was in love with the person for about six years with that person and a lot of things happen. Back then i don't understand even a bit of it but when i get matured i came to understand each thing happens in the past. I can't deal with the trust really so i decided to let go.
Then somebody came. It was indeed sweet. It was beautiful. I want to keep reminiscing the memories in frame of gold and planned it to continue till death do us apart but again, parents said no and we decided to let go. 23 September 2011 is painful. So much painful. But i learned how love should let go. it's been 2 years now and i grow up a lot. Although i was so down and i didn't live my life for the past two years well but now i realize that I've been more matured in handling feelings, more better than before. Seeing him smiling like that now, my heart jump . I was happy. Now i can say and understand "So, this is love is all about".
Stooopppp... It's not the end of the love story. I admit , i was eyeing someone now. It was too early to say or to decide anything but i will let God handle this one. He has given me a lot of chance but i can't handle it properly. This time, i'll let God in control :)
Argh, i lose my memory. What did i want to write earlier? ugh, i forget. Nevermind. Above all, everything happens here was a beginning to get me ready for the next phase in life. There will be a lot of circumstance in front! Thanks to the bad and good i went through here, i'm ready to enter the next phase.
Sigh. I've been through a lot huh *______________________________________*
It feels good though. I feel so much thankful for now. Thank you God, for not giving up on me when a lot of things happen here. I love You.
It's 5am in the morning and it's time to wake somebody up to watch football :D and me going to sleep again. :D
XoXo
No comments:
Post a Comment